Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
