took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
