a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
