He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
as a side note pls kill me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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