Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
