First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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