In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
