Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
