i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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