we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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