This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
