Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
