Screwed.edu
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
