How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Found the puke drawer
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
