i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
