umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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