Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I have demons in me.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.

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(408): View more from California

ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

(847): View more from Illinois

No promises.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.

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(941): View more from Florida

I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.

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