so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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