Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
