That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
