question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Two words: nipple clamps
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