Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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