you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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