Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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