I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
