Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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