She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
