i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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