So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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