make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
