And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
