suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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