I think my fart just growled at me.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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