I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
