You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can't believe i had my finger in that
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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