You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Non-Jews are for practice
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sober January is a disaster.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
