I didn't shave. On purpose
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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