the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
