Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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