Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
