It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
