Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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