He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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