What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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