Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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