I never want to see another naked old woman again.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
