Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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