He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
