I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well you can't waste a boner
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
wow bdsm is so cute
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize