i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
