So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
