I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
