So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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