Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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