No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
