wrigley field is MILF paradise
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
