I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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