Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I still have a little drunk in my system
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
