I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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