either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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