Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
