i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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