the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
