yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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