Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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